7 Steps For Effortless Charisma
Have you ever looked at a celebrity and just felt awed by the presence they commanded? Have you ever looked at how a CEO conducts themselves while speaking at an event and wondered how they could grab people’s attention so easily? Well, all of that happens because of charisma. You might have heard this word before. If you Google it, you will get this definition: compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others. In my opinion, that’s the best way to describe it.
When you come across a charismatic person, you can’t help but exude a certain devotion towards them. At that moment, you unconsciously raise them to a higher pedestal. And after you’re done meeting them, you can’t help but desire the same level of charm. Well, the good news is that you can! Many people think that charisma is an inborn quality. That’s not true at all. It is a personality trait that you can learn with practice. In fact, there are some great science-backed ways you can do so. Let’s take a look at some of these below.
1 | Showcase Your Feelings
Feelings and emotions play a critical role in how we express ourselves and perceive others. Maybe that’s why we associate warmth with emotions and coldness with logic! If you want to appear more charismatic to the other person instantly, you should express genuine feelings. And make sure that you do not overthink it. Just go with what feels natural. Sure, this might take some practice if you are not naturally inclined to share feelings, but you will learn eventually.
Psychologists have forever observed that charismatic people are spontaneous when it comes to expressing how they feel. As a result, they come off as authentic and can thus grab attention more easily. It also allows them to affect the moods and emotions of other people. This is why you often see people mimic the emotions that a charismatic person is exuding. It happens on a subconscious level.
2 | Pay Attention To Your Body Language
When you are talking to other people, your body language plays a crucial role. In fact, it could play as important a role as the things you say verbally. This is the reason why body language experts urge us to pay attention to our posture. You transmit much more information than you realize just with the way you position your hands, legs, torso, and head. Not only that, psychologists say that certain patterns of body movements can express specific emotions.
To be more charismatic, you could try to use your hands more and keep an open posture. An open stance signals that you are available and encourages people to come towards you. They get drawn in without even realizing that it’s all because of your stance. That’s a pretty neat trick if you ask me!
3 | Talk More About Potential Than Past Achievements
This might sound counter-intuitive, but apparently, people don’t care much about your past accomplishments. So, when you keep talking about everything you have managed to achieve in the past, people might not listen with great interest. Even if they do, it will be short-lived. What they do care about, however, is your perceived potential. This was actually shown to be true in a joint study by Harvard and Stanford.
The authors of the study state that future perceived potential comes with certain uncertainty. And it is this certainty that keeps the listeners more engaged. This is because it encourages them to be more imaginative and creative. With past achievements, there is no element of surprise. It’s gone, it’s over, and it’s old news. Therefore, it’s not exciting anymore. And what’s not exciting is not charismatic.
4 | Encourage People To Talk About Themselves
This is quite an interesting one. Did you know that when people talk about themselves, it stimulates the same areas in their brains that are usually associated with sex, eating good food, and even taking cocaine? Research has actually shown this to be true! It means that talking about yourself is a pleasurable activity and something that the brain likes to do repeatedly. You can use this knowledge to be charismatic whenever you want.
All you have to do is encourage people to talk more about themselves. You could even help them with topics. For instance, you could ask them what their dreams are, what their apprehensions are, how they view life, what they care about the most, and so on. Then, when they talk about themselves, they will feel ecstatic. Also, it will make them feel like you care about them and that you’re a good listener. All these are ingredients in the recipe of irresistible charm.
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5 | Smile While You Talk
If there is one thing that virtually all psychologists will agree on, it is that you should never underestimate the power of a smile. Research suggests that this simple act can be one of the most powerful factors in determining a person's attractiveness. Have you ever noticed how a smiling person looks much better than someone who is sulky? According to researchers, this happens because smiling is a universal emotional display and conveys important nonverbal cues.
Therefore, the next time you want to be charming, make sure you maintain a smile on your face. But know when to stop. You don’t want to look like a creep either! The best advice would be to act as naturally as possible. Just relax, instill some positivity, and smile your way to charisma.
6 | Mirror The One You’re Talking To
Mirroring is a well-known phenomenon in the world of psychology. It is also fascinating. So, what happens is that when two people establish a rapport (unconsciously), they start mimicking each other’s postures and actions (again unconsciously). It’s called limbic synchrony. So, if you are getting along with someone, you might cross your legs if they have theirs crossed. If they reach for some water, you might do the same. Again, you will not be aware you are doing this. It just happens.
You can use this knowledge to your benefit. In a group or when talking to someone one-on-one, you could try and consciously mimic someone’s posture or actions. Believe it or not, it can make the other person more comfortable with you and help establish a rapport. This can be quite useful in the business world where there are lots of dealings and negotiations!
7 | Use Concrete Language While Talking
Words have great power. They can ignite a flame of inspiration in someone and, at the same time, extinguish it. Just choosing the right words can make you instantly more likable and charismatic. This is the case in studies. One such study states, “communicators who use concrete language are more persuasive and favorably evaluated because they are perceived as more competent and trustworthy than those who use abstract language.”
People in leadership positions like presidents, managers, politicians, etc., are well aware of this fact. Hence, they craft their sentences extremely carefully. Their whole career is dependant on this. In your life, if you want to be charismatic on demand, start with choosing the right words. Be direct and concrete. Don’t beat around the bush, and certainly don’t sound inconsiderate. Make the other person feel as though you are totally in sync with them and feel what they are feeling. It is this emotional connection that will do the trick.
To Wrap It Up
Charismatic people seem to have a different aura around them. The moment they enter a room, they light it up. The moment they talk to someone, they start feeling much better. There is just something about them that makes them truly special. Or is there? On closer inspection, we can observe that they are not really doing anything special at all. They are merely able to get the basics right, and that’s enough to make them irresistible. You can use these same methods to become more charismatic. What’s more, these techniques are backed by science!
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