13 Psychological Tricks To Win Any Argument
Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could win ANY argument you enter into?
I am sure you have at least thought about it if you frequently get into arguments with someone in particular (cough, your spouse, cough). All kidding aside, we all get into arguments from time to time with so many different types of people.
It could be your partner, sibling, colleague, or a random cab driver who likes to pretend he is Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious.
Arguing when you know that you’re right and the other person is being highly unreasonable can get on your nerves. Really, it’s one of the most annoying things ever. At that moment, nothing can quench your anger and frustration more than definitively winning that argument.
If you’ve ever won an argument and left the other person speechless, you already know how great it feels, right?
But debating skills are not only useful in verbal fights. They can be extremely valuable in many different areas of life.
They can help you in your career, in financial negotiations, in relationships, and so on. So, knowing how to win any argument is kind of a necessary skill you should have.
I’ve gone ahead and compiled 13 of the best psychological tricks that you can use to win any argument — backed by science. If that sounds interesting to you, keep on reading! I’m sure you will get a ton of value from any one of these tricks.
1) Understand The Nature of The Argument
To excel at something, you need first to understand it. This applies as much to arguments as it does to any other subject. If you have a solid comprehension of the nature of an argument, you will know how to handle it without much effort.
Mark Porrovecchio, a debate coach at Oregon State University says that the way you argue depends on the context and the genre. For instance, the way you argue with your spouse will differ from the way you argue with a random stranger.
So, you need to understand some key details of any argument - who it is with, where it is happening, what it’s about, how serious it should be, and so on. Accordingly, you can adjust your approach.
Things like your method of explaining your points, your tone, body language, and even what you say can be adjusted based on what the argument is about and who it is with.
So, the next time you get into an argument, don’t just start blindly. Take a moment and get your bearings first.
2) Understand The Opponent’s Personality Type
This is kind of an extension of the previous point. But it is solely focused on the other person.
In order to win an argument, you need first to understand how the other person is as an individual. You need to know their personality type, their strengths, weaknesses, values, goals, and so on. If you are able to do this, you can press just the right buttons to get them to overreact or give up their position.
This is what spies are shown doing in the movies, and it’s so cool to watch!
If you think that is too much to glean about the other person, especially if they are a total stranger, you could divide them into two broad categories. Prince Ghuman, coauthor of Allure: the Neuroscience of Consumerism, says that people tend to be either reactive or analytical.
If they are the first type, it would be better to use your emotions to reason with them. However, if they are the second type, you would be better off going about it with cold hard logic.
3) Use Your Emotions
In the previous point, we talked about using our emotions to deal with reactive people in an argument.
But what exactly does that mean?
Well, let’s take a deeper dive. You see, most humans run on emotions (even if they say they lean on logic). In fact, a lot of our decisions are based on how we feel rather than what we think. It’s quite an eye-opener, isn’t it? So, it only makes sense to appeal to the emotional side of your opponent in an argument to win them over.
Psychologists like Sherrie Campbell say that you should embed your feelings in the arguments you present, even if it makes things a little uncomfortable.
You can be kind but make sure you are honest. This can help the other person reach the core of your point and see why it means so much to you.
4) Use Your Body Language
Did you know that we mimic each other in social scenarios?
Apparently, this happens because we establish an emotional connection with the other person and can’t help but mirror them. So, if they tend to tilt their head to the side, you might do the same without even realizing it.
You can use this to your advantage in an argument. You should consciously study and mimic the body language of the other person.
Amazingly, this is quite a popular method of bringing the other party to your side. And, might I add, it seems a lot of fun too.
All you got to do is look at what they’re doing with their body and imitate it. If they cross their arms, do the same. If they lean forward, do the same. But make sure you do this subtly. Otherwise, the focus of the argument might shift from the actual topic to your shenanigans.
Another thing you could do is look them in the eye when they talk. This makes you appear confident and can shake their confidence in return.
5) Be Calm
Calmness is highly underrated in today’s world. Especially during arguments. You wouldn’t think that a calm person could come out on top.
But this is exactly what happens.
For one, if you don’t react aggressively, you immediately defuse the situation and the other person’s emotions. They have no option left but to come to your level to have a discussion. So, suddenly, you are the one who is in control of the argument.
There is another advantage of remaining calm. It helps you keep a cool mind.
As such, you are able to express yourself much more clearly. We all know how your intense emotions can cloud your judgment and your ability to think rationally. It sends you into this frenzy where your anger gets the better of you and you lose all semblance of yourself.
6) Practice. Practice. Practice.
It can be strange advice to give to someone that you need to practice arguing. But you and I both know that this is true.
Arguing is a skill like any other.
You need to learn how to articulate your points, convince someone with the least effort, steer the discussion where you see fit, and much more. If you think about it, arguing is like an art. It is unique to you and the way you convey what you feel/believe in can be beautiful to watch and hear!
So, how do you practice arguing? Do you randomly start debates with your spouse?
No! Don’t do that. (Though if you do it anyway, tag me on Instagram so I can see the drama that ensues).
The best way perhaps is to take part in organized debates. These can be in schools, colleges, offices, communities, or any place else. I am sure there are a few good online options too.
This way, you will learn this skill, and won’t have to hurt someone you know personally.
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7) Use The Anchoring Effect
In negotiations, there is something called the anchoring effect.
Apparently, the party that makes the first move in terms of a deal or an offer, comes out ahead in the end.
Even if the end conclusion is not exactly what they offer in the first place, it is usually extremely close. Lawyers use this technique all the time.
This happens because by setting the terms first, a party sets the anchor for the entire discussion. Consider this as giving a direction to the argument.
It is kind of genius if you think about it. And even credible studies have shown that the anchoring effect works!
So, the next time you are arguing with someone, make sure you immediately say what you want to say (usually your end goal of the argument). Then double down on it and defend it with everything you have got.
8) Use Facts As Evidence For Your Position
In an argument, the more points you lay down that cannot be refuted, the more likely it is that you will win.
Makes sense? Of course, it does!
And how can you ensure that the other person can’t refute your points? Well, use facts. I mean, when you say that the sun rises in the east… what other option does your opponent have than to agree with you?
They can’t be like, “Umm no, that’s not true!” They would be shooting themselves in the foot!
So, no matter what you say, use facts to back it up. If you can, you could also cite statistics, scientific research, and quotes from relevant sources to make your point even stronger.
That way, your opponent will know that you are not messing around and most likely refute their claims that aren’t backed up. This might decrease their confidence as they try to come up with arguments that have been proven.
9) Try To Rile Them Up With Questions
Ok, you can consider this as an extension of the above point. And you can really have some fun using this trick.
You see, when you’re arguing, it’s not only important to say all the right things, but you also need to ensure that the other person doesn’t.
But, how do you do that?
Well, one of the most effective psychological tricks is to use questions. If you ask the right questions, you can rile them so much that they can even forget what they were trying to defend.
Isn’t that cool?
So, let’s say they claim something to be true. In response, you could ask them what evidence they have for it.
You can also exaggerate their position and say things like, “If we all made facts on the spot, the world would crumble in an instant.”
Now, suddenly, the argument will be about whether or not they make false statements instead of the original point of disagreement.
You can also ask some hypothetical questions like, “What would a person from country X think about this?” or “Why are you getting so angry about this?”
10) Look For A Mutual Compromise
Let’s face it, there are some arguments that you can’t expect to win 100%. Sometimes, both parties are right in their approach and so, only one of them winning doesn’t seem fair (and possible).
So, if you find yourself in one of these scenarios, then you should look for a win-win situation. You need to understand what the other person wants, put it in contrast to what you want, and then come up with a compromise.
Your opponent might not be willing to lose, but they would most definitely be willing to come to a middle ground if they feel like you have valid points and they are unlikely to win fully.
But before you come to a point of mutual compromise, make sure you can convince them that you are as right as they think they are.
11) Turn Them Against Themselves
Now, this one is kind of an advanced trick. So you should only use it after you have had a bit of practice.
What experienced debaters do is, turn their opponents against themselves. Therefore, instead of fighting you, they start questioning their own thought process and start to wonder whether they are arguing for nothing!
There are many ways you can do this, but I would say using logic is your best bet.
For instance, when they present a point, you could say, “I am sure you are smart enough to see that X doesn’t lead to Y…. it leads to Z. Can’t you see how obvious that is?” Before they can even get a chance to reply, you can then say, “Ok, I see that you’re struggling with the logic so let me help you.”
Then you can go on to use your logic to break it down for them. Of course, you need to be really convincing to make them question their own thoughts.
12) Listen Carefully
Now, this isn’t exactly a “psychological trick,” but you could say that this is a fundamental tactic that helps you use the other tricks on this list.
I mean, how else are you supposed to use point number 9 about asking questions if you don’t listen carefully to what they are saying? How can you come to a mutual compromise (point number 10) if you don’t listen to their side?
Therefore, you should improve your listening skills and make sure you are really present during the argument.
13) Compliment The Other Person
This is a psychological trick that will through your opponent off guard. This is because they just won’t see it coming.
During an argument, two people see each other as opponents. So, all they expect are attacks. Instead of these, if you can compliment them on something, they will be taken aback.
Their brains will take some time to process it, and in the meantime, you can plan your next move. They will also become more pliable.
You could say things like:
“I admire how passionate you are about this topic,”
“I see that you have done a lot of research to make your point. I admire that,”
“By the way, I really like that jacket”
Point of advice: use that last one only for your really close friends or partner.
To Wrap Up
Where people live and work together, arguments are bound to happen.
We all differ in the way we think and feel, so it’s only natural that our opinions about things will differ.
This often leads to disagreements, which, in turn, leads to arguments. If you feel like you are right, even partially, you should do everything you can to win any argument you get into.
This is especially true in case professional settings where you don’t really have personal relationships with the people involved.
There are many psychological tricks that you can use to win arguments. They range from easy to hard and so, you need to practice them over time.
Slowly, as with any other skill, your arguing skills will improve, and you will have a much easier time winning over people
Let me know in the comments below: What trick out of the 13 are you going to use first?
